Proustite
by Spiritstrike
Summary: Memories of the past come back to haunt Sideswipe, but maybe Mirage can help him to forget. Sideswipe/Mirage. Rated for smut and stickiness.


****What's this? SP has done an M-rated story? Le gasp! Someone get the cold shower running, she's gone crazy! Yeah, it's M-rated, but it hasn't got... um... fragging or spark-sex in it atm. Maybe next chapter it will. If I get inspired to write something after this one. Doh! Who knows, maybe I will when I stop this effing muse from going overboard, but no!

Please enjoy my first ever M-rated oneshot... or should I say twoshot? Bwahahaha!

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**Proustite**

Sideswipe stood alone on the empty shores of Diego Garcia, watching as the calm waves lapped against his wheeled feet, feeling as it touched him gently before backing away and then repeating the pattern. High above the front-liner, the ivory moon gleamed down on him, its light illuminating on his silver armour, making him appear to be made of the very essence that was his colour. He lifted his head slightly, his olfactory sensors taking in the scent that was salt. The calmness of the ocean was exactly what he needed to take his processor off of the events that had occurred not so long ago.

The fact that he had almost been executed in the Battle in Chicago and fought swiftly with the traitor of the Autobots – Sentinel Prime – whom his leader had come to respect and admire in the past, thought made him shiver, rattling his armour. He could still remember his own thoughts that had transpired as he prepared to face death in the face.

_He was on his knees, hands tied behind his back. Sideswipe glanced over his shoulder at the Decepticon that had him at gun's point. One swift move would end his life permanently. He would rather face death on the battlefield than be executed at the hands of his enemy. This was not what he had wanted!_

_Sideswipe's body trembled violently, but he kept his cool. Why was he afraid? He hadn't felt fear since his first kill, but why was he afraid now? Maybe it was the fact that he was going to be killed by the enemy without getting a chance to fight to the death – honourably he called it – or it was because old memories were shooting through his processor as he recalled old events from the past. But old memories would not save him now._

_As his Autobot brethren were placed on either side of him, Sideswipe could see the terror on Wheeljack's face; sense the tension in the air. But that was not the worst of it._

"_Prisoners?" demanded Dylan as he marched up to Soundwave. "You're keeping prisoners?"_

"_Yes," Soundwave drawled._

_Sideswipe tensed even further. "No," he whispered._

"_You need to teach them about respect," Dylan snarled, pointing a finger at the Decepticon. "This is all business, but now its personal. Do you hear me?"_

"_Yes," Soundwave answered, "I understand. No prisoners, only trophies."_

_Sideswipe closed his optics, knowing what was going to happen next, but then opened them again. If he was going to die, he was going to go down fighting._

Switching his optics back online, Sideswipe hadn't noticed that someone was there until he heard a twig snap. Whirling towards the figure, blades unsheathing, the silver mech took a defensive stance as he faced the direction that the sound had come from. Frowning when he saw no one, but his sensors picked up an all too familiar energy signature, he shook his head and smirked, knowing who his watcher was.

"Come on out, Mirage," he said calmly, his blades returning to his arms. "I know you're there."

From out of the blue amongst the trees, something phased for a moment and then a ruby coloured, double-bladed mech appeared. The mech, who Sideswipe had identified as Mirage, had his arms folded across his chest and was leaning on a tree that was capable of supporting his weight. A cocky grin on his faceplates was enough to tell Sideswipe that he had only been there for a while.

"Now how did you know it was me, _amico_?" Mirage asked in his thick Italian accent. "No one would've known it was me until the last astrosecond."

Sideswipe shrugged and answered, "Your energy signature gave you away. I thought your field dampers prevented you from being detected."

"I left it on purpose," Mirage replied, unfolding his arms and walking over to join Sideswipe's side, his cyan optics never left the silver mech. "There's no more reason to have it on now that the Decepticons have been dealt with."

"It never hurts to be prepared, my friend," Sideswipe said coolly. "You never know when the enemy can strike. Like this!" And before Mirage could even stop him, a silver blade appeared and aimed for his head; quickly the ruby mech lifted his arm and blocked the attack with his right curved blade. "Seems like you were," remarked Sideswipe.

"I'm always prepared," Mirage replied, lowering his arm along with Sideswipe.

The two companions stared at each other for the longest time, none of them saying a word to the other. When he realised he had been staring for too long, Sideswipe turned his head away, blushing a little. He should've known that staring too long was really rude. What an embarrassment! Still, the fact that Mirage seemed a lot different from when he last time saw him, he wasn't even sure why.

Mirage lifted an optic ridge when he caught his friend blushing, but he shook his head, denying what he saw. He then looked out at the ocean, wondering why Sideswipe found it so fascinating. There didn't seem to be anything interesting about the water, nothing other than the waves that pushed against his three-toed feet.

"Mirage," Sideswipe said after several minutes of silence.

The other mech turned to look at his companion, but the silver mech wasn't looking at him. "Yes, _amico_?" he asked.

"Have you..." Sideswipe hesitated for a moment. Why was he hesitating? He never hesitated! It was not a warrior's job to even think during a battle. Ugh, who was he kidding? "Have you... ever wondered what would've happened if it weren't for Wheelie and Brains bringing down the mother ship?"

Mirage blinked. "I try not to think about," he replied honestly. "If it weren't for them, none of us would be online today. I am grateful for the fact that they saved our lives. Their heroic sacrifice was not in vain."

"Still," Sideswipe said, "the fact that we were almost..."

"Sideswipe," Mirage growled, whirling towards his comrade, "enough. Do not say such things. We're online, _amico_, that's all that matters."

"But..." the silver mech tried to say, but what happened next shocked him to the core of his spark. Mirage leaned forward and pressed his lips against his own. Sideswipe's optics widened in surprise. He wanted to push Mirage away, but he couldn't. He didn't even know why he was refusing to push the ruby mech back, to say no. Was it because there was something inside of him that actually... wanted this more than anything in the world?

Unable to hold back any longer, he pushed into the kiss, surprising Mirage, but he didn't care. If he couldn't hold back on his feelings any longer, to at least forget about the worries that flowed through his processor. To shock the ruby mech even further, Sideswipe wrapped one of his arms around Mirage's broad waist, bringing him closer to his chassis. Mirage then had to pull back, breaking the contact between them and the look of disappointment was written all over Sideswipe's faceplates. Mirage smirked at the look, shaking his head with amusement.

"What?" Sideswipe asked, raising an optic ridge.

"That was originally supposed to shut you up," Mirage laughed. "I thought you were prepared for anything."

"I wasn't expecting that," Sideswipe admitted, bringing Mirage closer to him and looking him dead in the optics. "What else was I supposed to do? It's just... I've worried so much since the incident in Chicago all because it brought back memories from the past, an incident I really want to forget."

Mirage frowned. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. "I'm always willing to lend an audio receptor if you want to."

The silver mech was silent for a good long while, unsure how to answer Mirage's question. He hadn't talked about it with anyone ever since the incident many orns ago. His vocal processor longed to tell someone about it, but he had kept it in the dark from everyone, afraid that it would only end up hurting someone in the end. How could he talk about it when all it did was bring back the horrors of the war?

"I..." he tried to say, but a red digit placed itself on his lips.

"Shh," Mirage whispered gently. "You don't have to tell me anything until you're ready. For now, I would rather enjoy having you now that the war is over."

Sideswipe nodded, grateful that Mirage was truly an understanding mech. He leaned forward and kissed him again. This time there was no pulling back, and no struggling. To his surprise, Mirage placed both hands on his chassis, stroking the metallic plates where his spark rested, hidden from the world. Sideswipe stifled a groan, closing his optics as Mirage found an exposed joint in his neck.

"Mirage, what are you...?" Sideswipe questioned, but he soon got his answer as Mirage leaned his head forward and nipped into the wiring, causing Sideswipe to hiss in surprise. He'd forgotten how sensitive those wires were!

"I'm giving you what you have always needed," replied Mirage, sucking on the wiring.

And before Sideswipe could stop him, Mirage had shoved him onto his aft, water splashing everywhere as he fell into the sea with Mirage leaning over him. Sideswipe leaned his head back, granting Mirage permission to do as he saw fit. Mirage obliged by using his servos to run over Sideswipe's silver armour, causing the front-liner to shiver, his armour rattling violently and the only sound that pierced the heavens besides the gentle crashing of the waves against his body.

One of Mirage's hands strayed down to his abdomen until it brushed against his cod piece. Sideswipe wasn't sure how to respond to this. It had been many orns since he had had an interface, and he had never even done it with a mech before. He was never even the settling down type either. Mirage seemed to sense his puzzlement and pulled his hand away, instead letting it stroke his sweet spots.

Now that was more like it, Sideswipe thought. If Mirage wanted to give him a good overload, then he'll let him, but not yet. Sideswipe was a patient mech, and he knew Mirage was too. Their patience was just had a gap in it, that was all.

"Mirage," Sideswipe whispered, pressing his lips against Mirage's own. "You are free to interface with me, but, I want to see what you're capable of. Make me overload and I will reconsider it."

Mirage smirked. "As you wish... _amore_," he teased, and went to work.

As Mirage dragged his glossa over his silver chassis, Sideswipe was instantly regretting his challenge to him. Not that he didn't mind what Mirage was doing, it's just... maybe he should've allowed him to frag him all he wanted. Shivering like a leaf, Sideswipe threw his head back and groaned, satisfying Mirage greatly. He should've known better than to challenge Mirage in the first place. Once something was set for him, the ruby mech was determined to see it through to the end.

"Oh," Sideswipe gasped as Mirage dug his glossa into his exposed wiring in his torso. That had never felt so good in his entire life! Mirage then grabbed Sideswipe's arms and pinned them to the ground, preventing the silver mech from moving. To make things worse, Mirage then slammed his lips onto Sideswipe's, pressing his glossa into his mouth. Sideswipe didn't fight back, he let Mirage gain entrance and explore his taste.

_Was this what humans called French kissing?_ Sideswipe wondered. He decided to have his own fun by allowing his glossa to wrap around Mirage's own and hold on tightly, shocking him completely. Obviously Mirage hadn't expected Sideswipe to respond to his exploration didn't he? Smirking, Sideswipe pressed further into the kiss before Mirage pulled away, his own smirk growing.

"Huh?" Sideswipe asked. He soon regretted his question.

Instantly, Mirage was onto him and letting his glossa slide over Sideswipe's body again.

"Ugh, Mirage...!" Sideswipe groaned.

"Shut up, _amore_," Mirage chuckled, continuing his assault on the silver mech's body. To further it, he then slid it onto Sideswipe's hips. "You will succumb whether you like it or not."

That wasn't helping with the fact that Sideswipe was feeling his body was beginning to charge up with electricity. Was his overload already on its way? He didn't know. It had been a long time since he'd overloaded in the first place. "Mir-Mirage, I..." he tried to say.

"It's coming already?" Mirage asked. "Well, then I'll guess I'll have to push a little harder."

With servos stroking his body, kisses being applied to his chassis, and his overload well underway, Sideswipe wasn't sure how much longer he was going to hold on. If he held back too long, then his overload would crash and he would be sent into stasis lock. His optics locked onto the silver, gleaming moon above him. He could feel it! Mirage was doing it, doing him some good for a change.

"Mirage..." Sideswipe drawled, his body shivering again as he struggled to hold it back.

"It's alright, _amore_," Mirage whispered into his audio receptors, removing his hands from Sideswipe's wrists. "It's alright now. Be with me as we are meant to be. Release it and you will feel better. Don't hold back anymore."

"I..."

"Do it!" Mirage cried.

"Mirage!" Sideswipe screamed to the moon and the stars as he let it go. He released the building up electricity in his body and found himself in darkness. As his optics switched back online, he found himself still lying on his back, but Mirage was not his sight. He turned his head slightly and spotted the ruby mech sitting beside him, watching him with intense cyan optics.

"What happened?" Sideswipe asked, puzzled.

"Your overload charged you up so much that it sent you into stasis lock," Mirage explained, smiling. "You've been in stasis for only half an Earth hour."

Sideswipe glanced up at the sky and saw that the moon had shifted from its place since he last time looked at it. He sat up slightly, but Mirage pushed him back down. Confused, Sideswipe raised an optic ridge at him. "And what are you doing?" he demanded stubbornly.

"You need to rest," Mirage ordered. "Because you haven't overloaded in orns, it caused your systems to restart themselves. Why didn't you tell me that, Sideswipe? If you had told me, I could've fragged you instead going to straight to the overload bit and prevented you from pulling another stunt like that again."

"Believe me," Sideswipe grumbled, "if I had known about what would've happened, I would've told you before I told you my challenge."

Mirage shook his head in amusement. "Obviously you hadn't even had an overload since you were brought online. You probably haven't even had a frag either."

"No," Sideswipe replied softly. "I never have."

The ruby mech chuckled and stroked Sideswipe's helmet, causing him to purr in delight. It seemed to Sideswipe that Mirage may have figured out his secret. "Rest now, Sideswipe," Mirage gently whispered into his audio receptor, kissing him on the forehead. "I will be here when you awaken."

"You mean it?" Sideswipe asked, raising an optic ridge.

"With all my spark," Mirage answered honestly.

Now that Sideswipe thought about it, he hadn't recharged for a week since the Battle in Chicago. The memories of long ago still haunted his processor, but he knew that in due time he was going to forget about it and then leave it buried in the past again until it came back to him again. He was afraid to recharge. With those memories of the war still inside his processor, he knew that the nightmares would begin to resurface and make this difficult for him to even live.

But Mirage had promised he would be there when he woke up from the depths of his dreams and nightmares. Maybe it was best that he recharged and got it over and done with. Venting a sigh, he lifted a hand and stroked Mirage's right cheek, his baby blue optics taking in every detail of Mirage's features. Mirage took his hand and kissed it gently, a smile forming on his faceplates. Sideswipe smiled back and allowed himself to drift into what he believed was a deep, dreamless recharge.

How wrong he was.


End file.
